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List:       kde-promo
Subject:    [kde-promo] Home page first paragraph
From:       Mihnea Capraru <mihnea_capraru () yahoo ! de>
Date:       2005-11-15 22:20:29
Message-ID: 20051115222029.4310.qmail () web26303 ! mail ! ukl ! yahoo ! com
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Beneath the slogan, on the home page, we can read
these words:

"KDE is a powerful Free Software graphical desktop
environment for Linux and Unix workstations. It
combines ease of use, contemporary functionality, and
outstanding graphical design with the technological
superiority of the Unix operating system."

I am stretching my imagination to find out who would
be turned from a casual visitor into a curious person
by this paragraph. It can only be somebody with
knowledge of software technicalities and Linux/UNIX,
which means somebody who doesn't need the home page
message any longer.

The first sentence states:

"KDE is a powerful..."

KDE is indeed powerful, but boasting on this does not
touch the user's most inner nerve. It is not KDE that
has to be powerful, it is the user. The first words
whould be

"KDE empowers you to..."

To what? What kind of power does 'the user' want?

Well this is a strong variable, but whatever it be, it
is either a practical need, or a personal desire:

"KDE empowers you to work and feel good."

This is where we'd better say a bit more about the
slogan, to make it clear.

"Unlike products designed to be sold, KDE is designed
to be used and loved."

Community is important. We bring it up here. Those who
trust commnunity will love to hear about it, and those
strange guys who don't trust community will run away
at the next paragraphs anyway.

"A large group of outstanding engineers, artists and
writers have teamed up to bring you one of the most
enjoyable and productive software suites currently
available."

This brings us to:

"KDE empowers you to work and feel good. Unlike
products designed to be sold, KDE is designed to be
used and loved. A large group of outstanding
engineers, artists and writers have teamed up to bring
you one of the most enjoyable and productive software
suites available."

Notes:

1. We don't say 'Free Software' in the first paragraph
because we assume the target reader to not know what
this is about. However, a link to the FSF should be
placed at a prominent location to underline KDE's
commitment to software freedom.

2. We don't say graphical. Programs are expected to be
graphical, so let's not sound weird.

3. We don't say 'desktop environment'. This is a
technical phrase, better suited for KDE's developer
portal. We say 'software suite'.

4. We don't say "for Linux and Unix". When KDE hits
mainstream press (which should be anytime soon - where
I live it's already there), many people will come over
accidentally from the Windows side. Telling them that
KDE 'is for Linux' is like telling Batman that what
he's trying to buy for himself is ladies' underwear.
They would just go away: "Too bad".

(KDE will be ported to Windows, but we neither know
how it will look like there, nor can we afford
synchronizing on the developers and waiting for the
4.0.0 release. The commnunity should be
multithreaded.)

Of course, getting somebody to use KDE means getting
him to use Linux or UNIX. But we need to move this to
the end of the main description, after we made the
user long for KDE. At this point we can tell her that
installing Linux is extremely easy, and even provide
pointers to a few distributions which feature a good
build of KDE.

5. We don't say 'workstations'. We only ever say
computers.

6. We don't say 'ease of use', 'easy to use' or 'user
friendly'. These words are like smoked cigarretes,
they get thrown away. They are worn. We need to hit
this nail better on its head.

After the first paragraph comes the link to the main
description, which says 'More...'. I'll try to figure
out what comes there :) 

Thank you for your patience.

Mihnea


	

	
		
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