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List:       kde-promo
Subject:    Re: [kde-promo] Final draft of 3.5.4 release - translate please!
From:       Danil Dotsenko <dd () accentsolution ! com>
Date:       2006-07-23 23:34:46
Message-ID: 200607231634.46318.dd () accentsolution ! com
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Sunday 23 July 2006 15:26 Tom Chance wrote:
> Ahoy,
>
> Quoting Danil Dotsenko <dd@accentsolution.com>:
> > Sunday 23 July 2006 08:55 Stephan Binner wrote:
> >> 2nd August is obviously aimed at.
> >
> > Would Tom now reconsider the self-imposed timeline and actually consider
> > the merits of the changes?
>
> I considered the changes and posted some comments. If you or anybody
> else wants 
> to get them into the release announcement and press release then go ahead,
> nobody's stopping you!
>
> Regards,
> Tom

Excellent. I would like to thank Tom for allowing me to bend his timeline and 
reopen this issue. Have fun on your vacation.

I see 2 small issues with the current release text:
1. Somewhat disorganized layout in the upper section of the text, and
   This gives too much of an amateurish taste to the release)
   Solving this will influence the translation effort.
2. bad case of Computereese.
   This significantly reduces the number of people to whom the release 
announcement can be useful. Solving this will not affect translation effort 
much, as people paraphrase anyway.

1. Organization issues
a. Too much detail (like "parenthesis KHTML parenthesis") in what should be a 
tight summary. Too little detail in "Detailed list of changes" section.
b. Lack of clear delineation between Intro and "Changes" sections.
c. Annoying 3-times repetition of the language thing in the first 4 
paragraphs.

2. Computereese abuse.
a. Worst example - "mount all devices". There is more. Utilization of such 
language significantly diminishes the usefulness of the said release as an 
informational tool. (If you didn't quite understood this last sentence, that 
is how normal person will fill toward current release text.) Attached ODT 
contains suggested replacements.
b. If we mention application name, it is better to explain what it does. This 
serves 2 purposes: advertises KDE's features, and partially helps clueless 
journalist who will report based on the text.
c. Sentences in the "Changes" section had different structure. For ease of 
grasping the idea I shortened them and nut most of the nouns in front. This 
way reading will be easier for both english, and "jibrish"-natives.

Current release text is better than the previous one, but needs a little more 
polish.

The submitted ODT file is best viewed in OpenOffice Writer due to its use of 
comments and tracking of changes. I would be glad to hear targeted, "i don't 
like that part"-type of comments. Following that, i will gladly provide the 
updated .php file containing the "acceptable" changes.

-- 
Danil Dotsenko

 (\ /)
(O.o)
(> <)

["announce-3.5.4-edDD.odt" (application/vnd.oasis.opendocument.text)]

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