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List:       humorix
Subject:    [humorix] California Imposes April Fools' Day Tax
From:       James Baughn <jbaughn () ldd ! net>
Date:       2007-04-02 1:51:23
Message-ID: 4610619B.1070604 () ldd ! net
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California Imposes April Fools' Day Tax
April 1, 2007

SACRAMENTO, PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CALIFORNIA -- In a desperate bid to
shore up the state's finances, Gubernator Awnuhld Schwarzenegger
today announced that all April Fools' Day hoaxes, jokes, parodies,
pranks, amusements, and other assorted forms of jocularity are
subject to a so-called BULL, or Bogus Unit Laughter License, that
must be paid within 15 days.

The new order, effective starting this year, will require a
licensing fee ranging from $5 to $50,000 depending on the "context,
hilarity factor, ability to pay, and the total number of people
hoodwinked by the hoax."

"The hot air produced by bogus April 1st pranksterism contributes
directly to global warming," said a spokesperson for the
gubernator's office.  "With this tax, we can mitigate the harmful
environmental aspects of this dubious holiday, while also increasing
our coffers to help pay for important initiatives, such as universal
naptimes for children."

It's not immediately clear how the state will enforce the new tax.
For that matter, it's not immediately clear if the new regulation
against April Fools' Day hoaxes is itself an April Fools' Day hoax.

"This is getting way too confusing," said a constitutional law
scholar at UC-Berkeley.  "It's obvious that this tax is a blatant
violation of the First Amendment.  But at the same time, we all know
that most political campaign promises are a bunch of BULL, so maybe
a regulation against hoaxes is just what we need to clean up
elections."

According to preliminary calculations, 623 websites pulled April
Fools' Day hoaxes in which they claimed to be aquired by Google. The
Humorix Vast Spy Network(tm), however, has not been able to identify
any websites that plan to comply with the BULL tax, even though most
of these sites are hosted in California.

"We're not worried," said the webmaster of OhMyGodPonies.com, which
today announced a partnership with Google.  Or maybe it was
Microsoft. All of these stupid April Fools' Day announcements are
getting rather tiresome. (Including the fake story you're reading
now.  And don't get me started about the proliferation of pointless
parenthetical meta-comments such as this. (And why must reporters
always insert their own biased commentary into every story, like
this one?))

"We're not worried," said the webmaster of OhMyGodPonies.com again,
hoping to get this reporter back on track.  "The wind will shift
from another direction tomorrow and the governor will completely
forget about this idea."



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